Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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