Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
