I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize