He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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