You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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