ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
