he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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