it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
