"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
