when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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