I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
