ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
