Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The power of my boobs compel you
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize