Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
