My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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