I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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