fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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