Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
