When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
