is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize