I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize