R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Less talking, more tequila
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
