you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
