she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
