Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This house was built for laser tag.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
where are you?
Hypothermia
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
