Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
