covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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