normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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