i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
