the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
