did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
