i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize