i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I sprained my soul last night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
