just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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