I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
