The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
