somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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