I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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