I faked an abortion last night.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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