so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
