What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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