come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
