Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
