O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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