What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no, he came in my armpit
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize
