I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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