hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
