Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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