i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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