ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
