Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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