Someone shit on the floor
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just pee around me
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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