His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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