Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry 88MilesPerHour hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

Fav 19 3096 1194
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.

Fav 49 930 6836
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(757): View more from Virginia

i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

Fav 20 5467 1573
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?

Fav 28 6841 1711
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

Fav 11 867 2534
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.

Fav 11 5231 1141
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.

Fav 2 1962 946
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(260): View more from Indiana

I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

Fav 3 696 794
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(470): View more from Georgia

I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man

Fav 0 42 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT