just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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