Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
