I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
