dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
