Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
