Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
