dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
