A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
