hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
