hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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