What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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