I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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