Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
