just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
