Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
