hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
