How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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