I'm lost and stupid without you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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